Persiguiendo Siempre (Chasing Forever)

You misused the air you breathe

Now it's time to die

Is this what you cut me loose to do? 
Falling forward, chasing forever, missing you? 
It was no different for nightly rituals; 
Curling into my chest and sleeping alone..

I misused the air I breathe

Now I can only use it to cry

Grief's soft sighs swallow simple luxuries 
Like water wasted on cheeks 
Swelling your chest and your bone 

I'd push you if I could

4am

And months later,

We lie here on the field

The war long fought

And the body count high

Wrapped in our graves

And tangled in our phone lines

Reaching with our phantom limbs

The punching bag of a coward. 

I'm not built for this back and forth, the strength of your punches eroding my resolve and changing me from what was to what is. 

Eso si que es. I am yours to build up, to destroy, to change and charge, to topple. I am satisfaction personified and so unsatisfactory to you.

You wanted to know how I feel?

Every moment awake is one spent breathless.
I don't have the lung capacity to express how hurt
How angry
How disappointed
I sleep to breathe deeply of my dreams
To forget my sickness of a world
That keeps on turning when something horrible has happened

Failure was never really an option for us.
Destined to succeed and falling while we stand
Hoping we've got
In spades
Points and sides that equal two
Confidence is the offense that will see us through
I fell for you
Hello

Send me a postcard

Lonely.
I wander in the way one would a suddenly empty house, clutching still warm clothing and attempting to sniff up all of its scent before it's too late.
Things I do to distract fall short, and I am attacked in the inevitable quiet moments by the sensation of being adrift.
Lonely.
I don't know how I ended up alone; where everyone's gone that's so much better than this home we built with our own hands.
Our own blood. Our own tears. Our own love. I'm
Lonely
In the sharply aching way that forces my lungs to struggle for air. I'm drowning;
I'm alone.
Where have you gone?

The Morning After

Your eyes burn, and suddenly you're caught up in the realization that you aren't just tired from the cry last night; you might just cry again. Mistakes are for other people to make. Your mistakes are unforgivable, condemning, the worst. How dare you not know the right thing to say, make demands, expect more! You are a teacher and so you settle for your students, as they are not there to nuture you. The hard truth is that you need someone, and you don't have them.
So your eyes burn.